


Old Friend, Come Back Home

by zach_stone



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: AU Josh is rescued before he can become a wendigo, Everybody Lives, also i ship climbing class so much so there might be hints of that eventually, and lots of Sam and Chris friendship because they Get each other, because that shouldn't be an AU damn it, eventual Sam and Josh stuff probably, eventual descriptions of violence from the game possibly so be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-22 20:53:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4850150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zach_stone/pseuds/zach_stone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know you<br/>Don't believe me<br/>When I believe in you<br/>But I know it's getting easier<br/>Like it's supposed to do." ~ Old Friend, Sea Wolf</p>
<p>Everyone lives; they've escaped the terrors of that night on the mountain, and even Josh has been rescued. But will this broken group ever be mended? And is Josh more alone than ever now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Returning

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I'm not entirely sure where this is gonna go, I would love feedback if you want me to continue! I love this game so frickin much, I don't know how I got here but it's all I care about now.

It’s funny what your mind does when you’ve been through trauma -- when you’ve been through hell. Funny how it blots out everything except your very next step, forcing you to keep going like you haven’t just barely avoided death, clinging to life with your fingernails. Sam presses a hand absently to her chest, the steady thump of her heart under her palm a reminder: you did this. You made it out. You survived.

The group has finished being interrogated, and they’ve been carted off to a hospital to get bandaged and cleaned up. Now, Sam’s standing in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting to be picked up. There’s not a lot of people around her, and the noise of the hospital sounds fuzzy in her ears. She jumps when a hand touches her shoulder and a voice says, “Sam?”

She turns. It’s Mike, still looking battered but with less dirt and dried blood on his face. His fingers have been wrapped in a fresh bandage, and Sam wonders morbidly what’s left of them under there. “Hey,” Mike says, taking his hand off her. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay. I’m just a little jumpy,” she says.

“Yeah, no shit.” Mike runs his hand across his face. “So, uh, how you holding up?”

Sam shrugs. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m running on autopilot, you know?”

Mike nods. “Yeah. Fuck, Sam. I still can’t believe we made it out of there. How the hell did we do it?”

“We were lucky,” she says. He snorts.

“Doesn’t feel much like luck. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get those… those things out of my mind.”

Sam doesn’t reply, just stares at her shoes. Mike watches her, brow creased with concern. Finally, he says, “Have you talked to any of the others?”

She shakes her head. “No, they seemed a little preoccupied. Matt and Emily were talking about… I don’t really know, but Em sounded upset. And I didn’t want to interrupt Chris and Ashley, they’ve barely left each other’s sides.” She smiles a little, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “What about you? How’s Jess?”

Mike’s expression shifts, pain momentarily flashing across his face, but then he clears his throat and says, “She’ll live. She’s in and out, and her lucid moments are still… brief. But the doctors say she’ll be _okay_.” He sounds derisive when he says that last word. “As if any of us will ever be.”

“Does she remember anything?” Sam asks.

“Not much. She remembers being dragged out of the cabin, and she remembers me coming for her in the mine.” His voice catches in his throat. “But that’s pretty much all they can pull from her. They’re not sure if it’s been repressed or if she was just unconscious for most of it.”

“Is it sick if I say I kind of wish I was in her place?” Sam asks. “Just to not remember.”

“If you’re sick, then I am too,” Mike says. “I’ve got enough nightmare material to last a lifetime. And that’s not even counting all the twisted shit that went down before those monsters showed up.”

Sam looks away. Josh. God, she’d been avoiding coming to terms with it, but now it was there, staring her in the face. Her friend, her poor fucked-up friend, was lost down there in that horrible place. Who knows what happened to him? He was probably dead, eaten by one of those things. The thought made her queasy.

“Sam?” Mike says gently.

“We shouldn’t have left him down there,” she says, voice shaky. “Fuck, Mike, we left him there to die.”

“Hey, no, there was nothing we could do,” Mike says. “Sam, listen to me, you cannot blame yourself for this, okay? Don’t go down that road. You saw what it did to Josh.”

“He was so messed up,” Sam whispers. “I mean, we all knew he was broken up after what happened to Beth and Hannah, but… I didn’t know it was that bad. If I’d just known, if I’d reached out to him more, said something different, maybe…” her voice breaks. Mike reaches out and pulls her into a hug. She lets out a dry sob against his chest, guilt and pain hitting her in waves.

“We couldn’t have fixed him,” Mike says finally, gently stroking Sam’s hair. “You know that’s not how it works.”

“Why did he do all those horrible things to us?” she whispers. “I trusted him. I thought he cared about me. I thought…” she breaks off, lifting her head from Mike’s chest because he’s shifted, turning to look at someone approaching the two of them. It’s Chris. His chest is heaving, and he looks vaguely frantic.

“There you are,” he says. “Guys. I just found out. I went to tell you, but you weren’t in your rooms…”

“Found out what?” Mike says, letting go of Sam. “Spit it out, man.”

“They found him. Josh. In the mines.”

Sam stumbles forward, clutching Chris’s arm. “Is he…?”

“He was alive when they found him,” he replies. “But he’s really fucked up. Lost a lot of blood, I guess. They’re not sure he’ll make it.” Chris swallows hard. “He’s here, though. In the hospital.”

“Ho-ly shit,” Mike says.

“Can we see him?” Sam says. Chris shakes his head.

“No, he’s got doctors all over him trying to save him.”

“Fuck,” Sam says.

“Hey, he’s gonna make it,” Chris tells her, though he doesn’t sound too convinced. “He’ll pull through.”

“I hope so,” she says softly.

~

_Cold. Everything is so fucking cold. He always told his parents that this place was too cold, every time they went up for a vacation. He should tell Hannah to turn up the freaking heater--_

_Hannah. Hannah’s dead. No, not dead -- but she’s not like his sister anymore. Tall, skeletal, monstrous. But the tattoo. It’s still there. Still his sister. Taking him._

_Blood, so much blood, his hands feel slick with it. It’s not his own. There’s a body, some man’s body, in front of him._ Lick your fingers _, a voice inside his head whispers. It’s not Dr. Hill’s voice, or his sisters’. It’s something else. He jerks back. Why the fuck would he do that?_ Taste the blood. Consume the man. _He lifts his hands. So much blood. Hunger stirs somewhere deep in his belly._ Hungry. Hungry. Hungry. _The voice echoes in his skull. Josh grips the sides of his head with bloody hands. Why won’t it stop? Why won’t it leave him alone? Maybe… if he does what it says… maybe it will finally give him peace._

_~_

“They said they found him covered in blood.”

“Was it his?”

“Not all of it. Apparently he was collapsed on a dead body. Without its head. I mean, how fucking gruesome, right?”

Chris turns the corner into the hospital room where Emily and Matt are talking. They both look up and stop their discussion when they see him.

“Hey, man,” Matt says.

“Hey,” he replies. “So, you guys heard about Josh, huh?”

“Yeah. I can’t believe he survived,” Matt says.

“For now,” Emily interjects. “It didn’t look like he was gonna make it.”

“Em,” Matt says sharply.

“What? I’m just saying.”

Chris cuts their squabbling short. “Wait, did you see him? Like, actually see him?”

“Yeah, they wheeled him right past my room,” Emily says. “He looked like shit.”

Chris runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Okay. Okay. Um, I have to go. Have you seen Ash?”

“Don’t even talk to me about that little bitch,” Emily snarls. “We should’ve left her back there with those things if you ask me.”

“Hey,” Chris says, his voice suddenly razor-sharp. “Don’t fucking talk about her like that. It was messed up of her and Mike to turn on you like that, but we were all scared. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t have done the same thing if you were in her place.”

“I wouldn’t have,” Emily says. “Because I don’t have a total meltdown any time I’m a tiny bit freaked out!”

“Ashley went through hell up there,” Chris says.

“We all went through hell,” Emily snaps. “You know what, Chris? You wanted me out of there too, didn’t you? God. I thought we were friends, but you were all so ready to just leave me to die.” She scowls. “You can go find your whiny little girlfriend now.”

Chris exhales slowly, cutting his eyes over to Matt, who just gives a little shrug before putting his arm around Emily and leading her over the the bed to sit down. Chris leaves the room and leans against the wall. He really can’t blame Emily for being pissed. They were all terrified of the idea of Em turning into a wendigo, but even so -- if Mike had actually shot her, Chris probably would have had a complete breakdown. He’d seen enough death as it was. Still, he couldn’t help but feel protective of Ashley. She had never been good with stress, and their night on the mountain had brought out the worst in her, but she wasn’t a bad person. He knew she felt awful for turning on Emily.

Standing up straight, Chris walks down to where he had left Ashley before he’d run off to find Sam and Mike. She’s not there, and he feels a stir of panic. He turns around, facing the doorway and rubbing his face.

Then, Ashley walks past the door. She pauses, looks back, and sees him. “There you are,” she says, stepping into the room. Relief floods him and he grabs her in a tight hug. “Oof. Hi. I was looking for you,” she says.

“Yeah, me too,” he says. They pull back, and she smiles at him softly. Chris rubs the back of his neck. Even after everything back on the mountain, and the kiss they’d shared, he was still so painfully awkward. Josh would be rolling his eyes so hard right now, and yelling at him to just “man up and kiss her already, you pussy!”

But thinking about Josh is too painful. He still feels a mingled sense of betrayal and anguish over what Josh had done to them. What he’d put them through -- what he’d put Ashley through. Most of the others hate Josh, want nothing to do with him now. And maybe they’re smarter to feel that way. But Chris… he just can’t find it in him. The only person who seems to understand that is Sam.

Ashley pulls him out of his thoughts by placing a gentle hand on his cheek. “Hey. Are you okay?”

“I guess,” he says, the lie coming out flat and pathetic.

“You’re thinking about Josh, huh?” she says. He nods. “He’ll probably be okay, Chris,” she tells him.

“He’d be more okay if I hadn’t left him locked up in that shed all alone. Or if I’d found him in time.”

“Chris, don’t,” Ashley says. “You couldn’t have known.”

“Best friends don’t do things like that,” he says.

“Best friends don’t fake their own deaths and kidnap people for a prank,” Ashley says. “Chris, Josh didn’t act like a best friend to you. Stop beating yourself up over this.”

“You don’t get it,” he mumbles, moving away from her. She looks hurt by this, and he feels bad. She’s trying, he knows she is, but she just doesn’t understand. Josh was -- is -- the best friend he’d ever had, ever since they were kids. Chris knew Josh was sick, knew he’d struggled, and yet he hadn’t helped his friend. How could he forgive himself?

“We should go,” Ashley whispers, reaching out to touch his arm but stopping short. Chris nods, swallowing hard. He hates the worried look on Ashley’s face, so he forces himself to smile and pats her shoulder.

“Sorry for being weird,” he says.

She shakes her head. “Oh my God, Chris, no, don’t be sorry. After all that happened, how could I blame you?”

He nods. “Speaking of things that happened…”

“What?” she says, looking cautious.

“I’m pretty sure we kissed at one point.”

She flushes. “Yeah.”

“Could we do that again? Sometime?”

Ashley smiles, closing the distance between them and standing on her toes. “Yes. No more wasting time.” And then she kisses him, and Chris feels momentarily safe.

“Ugh, barf.” Emily has appeared in the doorway. “Apparently a car is here to take us home. Come on, fuckers.”

Ashley shrinks from Emily’s glare and grabs Chris’s hand. Em has already stalked away by the time they’ve reached the door. Chris glances behind him, down the hallway where they must have rushed Josh away. Ashley tugs on his hand.

“He’ll be okay. Come on, it’s time to go home.”

~

_Hands all over him. Touching his body, pulling him this way and that. Trying to tear him apart. Or maybe put him back together -- he’s not really sure anymore. Bright lights pop in front of his eyes, and he wants to cry out. Can’t they just leave him alone? Why did they take him away? He was finally going to give in to the voice in his head, going to silence the hunger and have peace. Now, it was chaos. Maybe he deserved this. Deserved to never have peace, after all he’d done._

_A voice was saying his name. Joshua. Joshua. What do they want? What do they always want? Leave me alone, please, just leave me alone. I don’t want to do this anymore, please, please…_

~

Mike keeps a protective arm around Sam in the car. The six survivors (Jess is being kept in the hospital for a while longer) are all packed in like sardines, and the tension is palpable. Sam is pressed up against his side, her other side against the window. It’s weird, she never thought Mike of all people would be the one she turned to, but they’d formed a bond when they were escaping from Josh’s traps, and she appreciated his comforting her. Not that she’d admit she needed it.

On Mike’s other side is Ashley, with Chris across from her. Matt’s beside Chris, and Emily is across from Sam. Mike can’t help but wish that the car’s back seats didn’t face each other. Emily is furious at everyone except Matt and Sam, and her anger radiates from her. Mike can’t even begin to meet her gaze, though he can feel her eyes burning on him. Why had he pulled a gun on her? Stupid fucking idea, Mike. Real stupid.

Instead of looking at his ex girlfriend, he glances over at Chris. His friend is staring out the window, looking pensive. He knows Chris is pretty fucked up over Josh. God knows why. As far as Mike is concerned, Josh can go suck a hot one. Sure, he didn’t plan to hurt Jess, and yeah, okay, he was a lot more messed up over his sisters than any of them realized. But that didn’t give him the right to do what he did; because of him, they all could have been killed! Mike shifts his gaze to Sam. He knows she feels the same as Chris does. How anyone could still feel kindly towards Josh after that “prank,” he’ll never know.

That said, he has to admit that he’s relieved Josh isn’t dead. He felt so guilty for letting Josh get dragged off by the wendigo, but he didn’t know what else to do. Survival instinct had kicked in, and if he’d done anything they both could’ve wound up dead. Still, with Josh alive, they’d all have to deal with the aftermath of what he’d done to them. It was going to be tough.

“What are you looking at, Michael?” Emily snaps. He hadn’t realized that while he was thinking things over, his eyes had wandered to Emily.

“Nothing, Em,” he says tiredly.

“Just stay away from me,” she says.

“How exactly do you expect me to stay away from you in this tiny-ass car, huh, Em?” he retorts. Chris lets out a small groan.

“Don’t even think about talking to me that way! After you tried to fucking kill me?” Emily’s voice is getting louder.

“Guys, come on,” Chris says weakly.

“Shut up, dipshit,” she says. Chris frowns, but turns away to look out the window again. “All of you better leave me the hell alone,” Emily continues. “Consider our friendship terminated.”

“Emily, stop it.” Sam lifts her head from the window and fixes her gaze on her friend. “Look, you guys, we’ve all been through so much together. We all fucked up at some point. But somehow, we’re all still _here_. Together. So can we please, please stop attacking each other? That’s not what any of us needs right now.”

Everyone is silent. Mike stares at his lap, a little ashamed for letting Emily get a rise out of him. Chris catches Sam’s eye and gives her a small smile. Emily gnaws on her lip, still looking mad. Then, suddenly, she deflates, her fight gone. She turns her head to press her face against Matt’s shoulder, not crying, but tired. She’d held it together this long. She was bound to break eventually.

~

_Joshua. Joshua. Joshua. The voices won’t leave him alone. He’s so tired. Can’t they just let him rest, just once? Just one moment where he doesn’t feel like his mind is not his own. But these voices feel different, more disjointed from himself. He struggles to focus on them._ Joshua. Can you hear me?

_Yes, yes, he tries to say. Then, with a sudden clarity, he sees a face hovering over him, so close to his own. Dr. Hill. Terror overtakes him and he lashes out, hitting the phantom face before him. Not real not real not real._

_Dr. Hill sounds surprised. But not angry. He grabs Josh’s hands. Trapping him. Like an animal. He is an animal. Look what he’d done to his friends. Where were they? Were they dead? He didn’t want that. God, no no no he never meant to hurt anyone, not really. It wasn’t supposed to be real._

It’s all right, Joshua. You’re safe now. You’re safe.

_You’re safe._

_~_

Sam wakes to the sound of her phone buzzing. She was hardly sleeping, anyway, just tossing and turning fretfully in bed. She clicks on her lamp and glances at her digital clock; it’s a little past 3 a.m. The call is from Chris, and she answers right away.

“Chris?”

“Sam, hi. Listen, I just got a call from Josh’s mom.”

Her heart leaps into her throat. “And?” she says hoarsely.

“He’s awake. Josh is awake.”

 


	2. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris and Sam visit Josh, and the three realize just how hard it will be to mend things between them. Mike and Jessica spend time together in the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What, another chapter already? I highly doubt this frequent posting thing will last, but in the meantime, enjoy! Again, feedback is always appreciated! <3

Sam stands on her front porch, bouncing from foot to foot. It’s cold, and she can see her breath in front of her face in the early morning light. She glances at her phone for the fifth time. 8:02 a.m. Chris should be here any moment. Sam wraps her arms around herself, trying to keep warm. She’d lost her best winter clothes in the chaos of the mountain, so she’s borrowing her mom’s jacket. It doesn’t fit quite right, but it’s warm.

Chris’s car pulls up to the curb and he honks twice. Sam hurries over to him, opening the passenger side door and ducking into the car, grateful for the heater blasting inside. “I hope you didn’t wake up the whole neighborhood with that honking,” she says, buckling her seatbelt as Chris drives down the street. He’s got some weird classic rock station playing, and Sam recognizes it as the station Josh always put on when they all hung out. She feels her chest tighten.

“And a good morning to you, too,” Chris says, turning the music down a little bit. “How ya doing?”

Sam shrugs, holding her numb fingers in front of the air vent. “I’m okay. Nervous.”

Chris huffs out a laugh. “Yeah. That makes two of us.”

It’s been two weeks since Chris called Sam in the middle of the night with the news that Josh was conscious again. In those two weeks, no one had been allowed to visit except family, as Josh was deemed too “unstable” to handle visitors. Finally, though, they’d been given the go-ahead.

“So who else are we picking up?” Sam asks. Chris glances at her momentarily.

“Uh, no one. It’s just us.”

“No one else wanted to come?” she says, heart sinking.

“I didn’t even bother telling them visitors were allowed now,” Chris admits. “Didn’t see much of a point.”

“Chris,” Sam begins.

“Let’s be realistic here, Sam. No one else wants anything to do with Josh ever again, except us.” He stops at a light and turns to look at her. “Are we nuts?”

“What do you mean?”

“For still wanting to see Josh. I mean, he traumatized us! He chased you around when you were naked! He made me think he was dead, that it was my fault! And then made me think I’d have to shoot myself in the head! Are we nuts for still wanting anything to do with him?”

Sam has to admit, she’s been having the same doubts. She still feels to violated after what Josh had done to her. But it’s not like going to see him means she forgives him; she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to do that.

“He’s our friend,” she says finally, as the light turns green and Chris starts to drive again. “Even after all the things he put us through, he’s our friend. And he went through so much back there, just like we did. Matt and Emily have each other, Jess has Mike, you’ve got Ash…” she looks out the window, watching the hospital come into view as they turn the corner. “He’s gonna need someone, too.”

Chris pulls into a parking spot. “I hope you’re right,” he says.

The two friends talk to a woman at the front desk and then hurry up the elevators to the floor where Josh is waiting. They find his door, and as they approach it, an older man walks out and closes the door gently behind him. He turns to see them standing there and looks a little startled. “Can I help you?” he asks.

“We’re here to see Josh,” Chris says, nodding to the door behind the man.

“Ah,” the man says. “You must be Christopher and Samantha.”

Sam and Chris share a look. “Um, how did you--?”

“Joshua has told me a lot about both of you,” the man says. Then he smiles. “And Mrs. Washington told me you were coming. My name is Dr. Alan Hill, I’ve been working with Joshua for quite some time, after the disappearance of his sisters.”

“Are you his shrink or something?” Chris asks.

“Psychiatrist,” Dr. Hill says gently. “I was so relieved to hear you all made it out of that terrible tragedy up in Blackwood Pines.”

“Thank you,” Sam says. “We were too.”

Dr. Hill hesitates, then says in a quieter voice, “I should warn you. We’ve been working very diligently to get Joshua’s mental condition more stable. He’s taking his medication again, which should help with his hallucinations, but he’s still struggling. He claims that he still hears a voice in his head. What I’m trying to tell you is, be gentle with him. I’m sure you’re both experiencing a lot of emotions, but I’d ask you to try to remain calm when you speak to him today.”

“Of course,” Sam says, nodding. Dr. Hill steps away from the door, allowing them to go through. Chris pauses, his hand on the doorknob.

“You said Josh told you a lot about us?” he says. “Um, what did he say? Like, in the past couple months.”

“I’m afraid that’s confidential, between patient and doctor,” Dr. Hill says. Chris nods, looking pensive. “Were you hoping for some explanation for his actions?” the doctor asks. Chris looks sheepish, but it’s answer enough. “Grief can make us do terrible things,” Dr. Hill says simply. Then he gestures to the door. “I won’t keep you any longer,” he says. The pair nod, and then they step into Josh’s room.

~

When the door opens, Josh assumes it’s Dr. Hill, coming back to tell him something he’d forgotten. Josh wants nothing more than to stop talking to his psychiatrist for a little while; their constant meetings and discussions these past two weeks have been draining. Josh closes his eyes, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes and trying to block out all light in the room. Then, a gentle, familiar voice says, “Hey, buddy.”

He opens his eyes, shock and confusion written all over his face. Chris? Chris is here? Why is Chris here? He watches his best friend (if he can still call him that -- Josh is certain Chris must hate him now) cautiously approach the hospital bed. Behind him, peering around Chris’s tall frame, is Sam. _Sam_. What the hell is going on?

“Hi Josh,” she says. She stands farther away from the bed than Chris, like she’s afraid. Josh feels how tense his own body is, like a cornered animal.

“Josh?” Chris says, worried by the boy’s silence.

“What are you doing here?” he finally manages to croak out. Chris and Sam visibly relax at the sound of his voice.

“Well, we would’ve come sooner, but they only just allowed visitors,” Chris explains, pulling up a chair and sitting next to the bed. Sam gingerly sits on the edge of the bed.

“No, I mean… why are you here?” Josh swallows hard, all his fears that he’s been consumed by since he woke up in the hospital suddenly coming to a head. “Don’t you guys h-hate me?” His voice wobbles, betraying him.

“Oh, Josh…” Sam says, sounding so sad. “We’re your friends. And it’s important to have friends after what we’ve all been through.”  

“Yeah,” Chris says earnestly. “You’re my best friend, right?”

“Right,” Josh says, his chest aching with relief. “Til the end, cochise.” The two boys share a smile, and even though Josh can tell that Chris is holding something back, it’s enough. It’s something.

“So, how are you feeling?” Sam asks, resting her hand on Josh’s leg through the covers.

“Um,” Josh hesitates. In truth, he’s terrified. The medication has helped him gain some solid footing in reality again, but he can’t shake the voice that whispers to him at night. The one that’s so, so hungry. He shudders just thinking about it. “I don’t wanna bore you with the details of my fucked up brain,” he says, trying to sound upbeat. “What’s been going on with everyone else? Are they all okay?”

“They’re… managing,” Sam says, remembering what Dr. Hill had said and trying to be as delicate as possible. “Jess is getting released from the hospital in a few days, and everyone else is already back in their own houses.”

“I didn’t hurt Jess,” Josh says, almost automatically. He doesn’t mean for the desperate edge to tinge his voice.

“We know,” Chris says. “It’s okay, bro.”

“Is she going to be okay?”

“Seems like it,” Sam says, thinking of Mike scoffing at the idea of any of them being okay ever again.

“And are you guys… okay?” Josh fiddles with the edge of his bedsheet.

“Yeah,” Chris says.

“You and Ash doing alright?” Josh asks. He watches Chris’s smile with satisfaction.

“We’re good, yeah.”

“About damn time, too,” he says. “I said it, didn’t I, Sam? They just needed a traumatic event to bring them together.”

“Josh…” she replies, glancing at Chris worriedly.

“Bro, just because you’re in a hospital bed doesn’t mean I won’t sock you,” Chris says. He’s mostly joking, but Josh visibly flinches away, that animalistic terror flashing in his eyes again. Chris feels guilty immediately -- the boys had always teased each other this way, he had only been trying to act like things were normal. “I’m just kidding, man.”

Josh still looks afraid. His friends don’t know what to do. There’s an uncomfortable silence hanging in the air, reminding them all just how fragile this whole charade is. They’re all pretending that there’s no bad blood between them, that they’re not broken.

“I’m sorry,” Josh whispers suddenly. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Josh,” Sam says. “We know.”

“No,” he says urgently. “You have to believe me. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I’m so sorry. I ruined everything.” He closes his eyes, pressing his fists to his temples and rocking slightly. Now is not the time to have a meltdown. He senses how _afraid_ they both are of him, and losing his shit isn’t going to fix that in the slightest. He exhales slowly, trying to remember the breathing exercises Dr. Hill had recommended him. Keep it together, Josh, keep it together.

“Maybe we should go,” Sam says suddenly. Josh opens his eyes.

“What?” he says. “No, please, I’m okay. I’m okay now.”

Sam stands up. She’s completely closed off from him now. “You need your rest. I don’t want you to get upset,” she says. Chris is giving her a confused look, but she ignores it. “We’ll come back again soon though, okay?”

“Okay…” Josh says quietly. He’s done something wrong again. Pushing his friends even farther away. He’ll never be able to fix this. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re fine, dude,” Chris says, putting his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “It was really good to see you.”

Josh feels a rush of compassion for his best friend. He places his hand over Chris’s and squeezes weakly. “See ya around, cochise.”

Chris smiles. He and Sam walk to the door, and Chris salutes Josh before they leave.

And then he is alone.

Alone.

~

Mike spends a lot of his time in Jessica’s hospital room, watching her sleep. It sounds creepy, or mind-numbingly dull, but really, he just can’t stand being away from her. He already feels like he let her down, not moving fast enough to get her before she’d been plummeted down into the mines. Anyway, the quiet of her room is a welcome break from his home, where his parents won’t leave him the fuck alone. He understands that they worry for his mental state, but the hovering is making him crazy. At least here, with Jess, he can take a nap in a chair without his mom bursting in every ten minutes to ask if he “needs anything.”

Right now, Mike’s starting to nod off, his chin bumping against his chest. He hardly sleeps through the night anymore. Jess is lucky, he thinks morbidly. At least she gets some decent shut-eye.

“Mike?” his girlfriend says, voice hoarse and whispery. She’s doing so much better than she was, and she’s coherent most of the time now. Still, her small, broken voice cuts Mike to his core. He jerks awake, quickly leaning forward and grabbing her hand.

“I’m here, baby, I’m here,” he says. She smiles weakly.

“Sorry… did I wake you up?”

“Nah,” he says. “Did you need something?”

“Just wanted to make sure you were still here,” she says. “Mike, I had that dream again.”

He winces. The dream she’s referring to is really a memory, but Jess is determined to deny that. The dream is her in the mines, covered in blood, stumbling, finding Matt, the wendigo nearly killing them both. Mike is unsure if he should push Jess to realize that her dream is real, if it would do her any good at this point. So instead he just brushes his thumb over her knuckles and says, “I’m sorry, babe.”

“I can’t wait to go home,” she says. “This place smells like hand sanitizer.” She wrinkles her nose. She looks like her old self again at times, and it makes Mike’s heart swell. It’s so strange, realizing how devoted he’s become. Before they started dating, Mike wasn’t too invested. She was fun, and she was hot, and he was sick of Emily’s bitching. That was all it was. But something had shifted when they’d been up on the mountain. The real terror he’d felt, desperately searching for her in the snow, and the anguish when he’d thought she was dead… though they haven’t yet said it, Mike is certain he’ll mean it when he tells Jess he loves her.

“I gotta say, I’m gonna miss sleeping in this here chair,” he tells her now, patting the plastic armrest. “This kink in my neck has become a familiar friend, I don’t know how I’ll live without it.”

Jess giggles. “You know, you could always come cuddle up here in the bed with me,” she tells him. Mike grins.

“Are you coming on to me?” he teases.

“I think that’s your job,” she says. He snorts, delighted by her irreverence. There’s my girl, he thinks. He knew she was still in there. Jess scoots over in her bed and pats the empty space beside her. It’s not a big bed, but with a little maneuvering and gentle adjusting of limbs, Mike is on the bed with Jess in his arms. He kisses the top of her head, and she sighs contentedly.

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” she tells him.

“Me too,” he says. Jess reaches for his hand to lock her fingers with his, but pauses when she touches the bandaged stubs where two of his fingers had been. Mike holds his breath. He tries to keep his amputated fingers out of Jess’s sight, because they might trigger her memories of that night and scare her. She’s quiet, her hand shaking slightly as she gently runs her fingertips over his hand. He shudders at the light touch. If he wasn’t so worried right now, it’d be kind of erotic. _Jesus, Mike, get it together._

“I don’t want it to be real,” Jess whispers. “Mike, please, tell me it wasn’t real.”

“Jessica…”

“No, no. Just… don’t say anything. Forget it.” She lets go of his hand and turns so her face is buried in the crook of his neck.

 _I wish I could_ , he thinks, rubbing Jess’s back. _I wish I could._


	3. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily is concerned that spending time with Josh is bad for Sam. Ashley tries to get Chris to confront his complicated feelings about Josh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said not to expect all the frequent updates, but what can I say? I'm on a roll, and this is more fun than my homework. Thank you so much to everyone reading and giving me so much nice feedback already!! If you're interested in witnessing more of my emotions towards this game, you can follow my UD tumblr at joshuawashinton.tumblr.com ;) 
> 
> THINGS TO NOTE IN THIS CHAPTER: In this universe, Matt tried to save Emily both times at the tower, but had the flare gun so he was not killed by the wendigo.

“Oh my God, Matt, I can’t believe this!” Emily exclaims, dropping her phone on the couch and looking disgusted. Matt, who is sitting on the couch and nearly gets hit with the phone, winces and then looks at his girlfriend.

“What is it, Em?” he asks tiredly.

“Sam and Chris went to visit Josh in the hospital on Monday and they didn’t even tell us!”

“Oh,” Matt says, brow furrowing. “I mean, I guess I can’t blame them.”

“Are you serious?” Emily says. “Matt. They can’t hide things like this from us, we’re supposed to be friends! This is like, straight-up betrayal!”

“Seriously?” Matt sighs. “Em, I thought you didn’t even want to be friends with anyone from the group anymore. Why do you care, anyway? You hate Josh.”

Emily huffs. “Sam is still my friend, she should have told me.”

“Why, so you could talk her out of it?”

“Yes!” she snaps. “God, Matt, don’t be so dense. Can’t you see that keeping contact with Josh is like, super unhealthy for Sam? After everything he did to her, this is gonna make it harder for her to move on. And Chris too, I guess, but he’s a dick so who cares.”

Matt thinks through what she’s said, and she may have a point. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he says.

“Of course I am,” she says dismissively. “I need to talk to Sam about this.”

“If you say so,” he says.

“Matthew! Have you not heard what I’ve been saying? Why are you so passive about this?!”

He shrugs. “Maybe Sam knows what will help her heal better than you do. And maybe if she and Chris can stand to be around Josh, we should let them. I’m just tired, Em.” He rubs a hand over his face. “I’m tired of fighting, I’m tired of waking up from nightmares of you falling off that damn tower…”

“Matt…” Emily says, her voice less aggressive. She sits down next to him and puts a hand on his arm. “I know you tried to save me. God, when I think about that night…” she stops. “But that’s why you’ve got to just move on from it, Matt. I try not to think about it at all, and it’s helped. That’s what Sam and Chris should be doing, too. Seeing Josh isn’t going to help them, right?”

“I guess,” Matt says. “But Em, I don’t think repressing everything is going to help, either.”

“That’s not -- oh shit!” she exclaims, suddenly leaping up. Matt startles, jumping up too.

“What, what is it?” he says frantically.

“I was sitting on my phone,” she says, picking up her phone from the couch and examining it for damage. Matt groans and flops back onto the couch.

~

Ashley flicks her gaze over to Chris, who is in the driver’s seat and mumbling along to whatever’s on the radio. She shifts in her seat, slouching a little. The two of them are driving to go see a movie together -- their third real “date.” But Chris has been acting kind of out of it all day. It’s not like she blames him or anything, but it’s starting to make her antsy.

“Do we always have to listen to this oldie stuff?” she asks.

“What? What’s wrong with it? It’s classic,” he says.

“Since when do you like ‘classic’?” she teases. “Mr. ‘always has to have the latest and greatest.’”

“Hey, cell phones and music are very different things, Ash,” he says in a mock lecturing voice. Ashley is relieved to hear the joking tone returning to his voice. As much as she rolls her eyes at his stupid jokes, she hates seeing him so serious.

“Okay, grandpa,” she says. He smirks, reaching over to turn up the volume as a new song starts.

“Back in my day, we had _real_ music,” he says, making his voice sound like an old man’s. Then, in his regular voice, he says, “Anyway, this is a really good song.”

Ashley pauses to listen, recognizing it as “Heroes” by David Bowie. She has a faint memory of Josh listening to this song a lot.

“Josh always used to say parts of this song reminded him of me and him,” Chris says absently.

“Really? Even the part about kissing as though nothing could fall?” she says, trying to get him back in the teasing mood he’d been in moments before.

He shoots her a look. “Oh ha-ha,” he says. “You know what I meant.” He doesn’t say anything else for a moment. Then, he mumbles, “I visited Josh on Monday.”

“What?” Ashley says, taken aback. “Oh my God, Chris, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t think you’d care,” he says. “It’s not like you want to come see him or anything.”

“How do you know?” she says.

He frowns. “What, do you?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe!” she says, flustered. “I’m just saying, it’d have been nice to know.” She tugs at the drawstring of her hoodie. “How was he?”

“Pretty fucked up,” Chris says. “But aren’t we all now?” He sighs. “He seemed happy that you and I finally got together. And he apologized for everything a bunch of times.”

“I don’t know if apologies do much good at this point,” Ashley says. Chris tilts his head, conceding.

“He seemed so… scared, Ash,” he says. He shakes his head like he’s trying to clear it. “It was like it wasn’t even him anymore, just this scared shell of a person. It was so fucking sad.”

They’re quiet again, just the radio filling the silence between them. _But we could be safer, just for one day… Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, just for one day._

“It must have been hard to see him like that,” Ashley says.

“It killed me,” he says. “He’s just… he’s my best friend, you know? I really, uh, care about him. Or whatever.” He tapers off, turning pink.

Ashley fights the urge to roll her eyes. God, why are boys so weird about feelings? “Chris? You know that it’s okay to say you love your best friend, right?”

He turns pinker. “Yeah, okay. I’m just not, um, good with that kind of thing. As you know.”

She laughs slightly. “I think I do, yeah.”

“I’m working on it, though,” he says. “Case in point: Ash, I love you.”

Her eyes widen. Chris is staring determinedly at the road, but he looks both embarrassed and proud.

“I love you too,” Ashley says, and now they’re both red.

“Well that’s a relief. Otherwise that would have been super awkward.”  

  
~

Josh sits alone in his hospital bed. He’s going home tomorrow, according to his mother. His mother, who can barely look him in the eyes when she speaks to him. His mother, who is so ashamed of a son who sees things that aren’t there and hears voices in his head. But at least she comes to see him at all. Josh’s father is busy with work, as always, but he knows that there’s more to it than that. He’s embarrassed of his only remaining child. A college dropout, shuttled between psychiatrists, and now this mess. Josh wonders if there’s a single person left in his life who isn’t repulsed by him.

There’s a gentle knocking on his door, and he says, “Yeah?”

Sam pokes her head in. “Hey,” she says. “Care for some company?”

Josh’s face lights up. “Yes, please, come on in. Take a load off,” he says, patting the bed. She smiles, though less enthusiastically than he is, and takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

“So you’re going home tomorrow, right?” she says. He nods, the smile slipping from his face.

“Yep. My parents can’t decide which option would be more humiliating for the family: carting me off to a psych ward, or having a deadbeat son in their house all doped up on antidepressants.” He grimaces.

“Yikes,” Sam says. “I guess your family isn’t very… understanding, huh?”

“That’s putting it mildly. What can ya do when your own family hates you, huh, Sam?” He’s trying to come off as jokey, but his words come out sad and small.

“Oh, Josh…” Sam says, placing her hand on his. She hesitates, then says, “Well, if you need someone to talk to, I’m still your girl. We’re pretty good at helping each other through tough times.”

Josh swallows hard, gripping Sam’s hand. He doesn’t deserve her kindness, not after what he put her through. “Thanks, Sam,” he says.

She smiles, squeezing his hand before letting go. “Hey, so, if you’re up for it, maybe tomorrow we can go get coffee or something. Integrate you back into the real world. I can see if Chris wants to come, too.”

“Yeah, okay,” he says, though the thought of doing such a normal thing feels weird to him. “Hell, invite Ashley, too. It’ll be like a double date.”

Sam stiffens. He’s not sure whether it’s the date joke or the suggestion to invite Ash, but clearly something he’s said has closed her off from him again.

“I’m just kidding,” he says urgently. “I’m sorry.”

She sees the panic in his face and relaxes a bit. “It’s okay,” she says. “I’ll ask Chris to invite Ashley. Just… don’t get your hopes up.”

“The fact that anyone wants anything to do with me already exceeds my expectations,” he says. “So we’re good.”

Sam looks as if she wants to say more, but instead she stands up. “Okay, I gotta go.”

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“Therapy,” she says simply, and he feels a pang of guilt, though he knows his prank is certainly not the only thing that’s given Sam a reason to see a therapist. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he says. She leans down and gives him a brief hug, and he attempts to reciprocate, but the awkward angle causes his arm to brush her waist, and she quickly draws back.

“Okay, um, bye,” she says, and then she’s out the door. Josh watches the door click shut and begs the voice in his head to stop.

~

Sam is stepping out of her therapist’s office when her phone buzzes three times in a row. It’s a series of texts from Emily.

 

_Em: Sam, pls meet me at Starbucks ASAP_

_Em: and don’t bring anyone else unless u want to see me fight them_

_Em: text me back!!!!!!!! soon!!!!!_

 

Sam shakes her head at Emily’s messages and replies, _hold yr horses, I’ll be there in 20 mins._

When she gets to Starbucks, Emily is already sitting at a table with a drink for herself and one for Sam. She waves when Sam walks in.

“Hey,” Sam says, sitting across from her. “Oh, you ordered for me?”

“Mhm. Got you one of those chai tea things you like. With soymilk, don’t worry.” She smiles as Sam takes a sip to confirm. “So, Sam. How are you?”

“Um, I’m okay,” she says, narrowing her eyes. “Em, what’s this about? What do you want?”

“Oh my God, Sam! You’re my friend! I’m just trying to check in on you, see how you’re doing. That’s what friends do, right?”

Sam snorts. “Sure, but that’s not your style.”

“Ugh, fine. Though I’m really offended that you don’t believe I can be nice. I’m not all bitch, you know.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “I know you went to see Josh.”

“Oh,” Sam says. “Is that all?”

“ _Saaaaam_ ,” Emily whines. “Look, whether or not you believe it, I care about you, okay? You stood up for me when Mike was going to shoot me. You’re a good friend. That’s why I’m worried about you.”

“Worried?” Sam says, frowning.

“I don’t think it’s healthy for you to see Josh,” she says. Sam starts to protest, but Emily talks over her. “No, listen to me. Matt thinks I should stay out of your business, but that boy doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Sam, the way Josh treated you… it was terrible. He completely betrayed you. You shouldn’t forgive him for that.”

“I don’t forgive him,” Sam says. “I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him for what he did. But Em… look, after Hannah and Beth disappeared, Josh and I really got close. We understood each other. He lost his sisters, I lost my best friend… that connection didn’t just go away. He needs someone right now, just like the rest of us.”

“He needs someone, or you do?” Emily says. Sam flushes. Damn it, when did Emily get so perceptive?

“Okay… fine, maybe it’s true. But so what? Everyone else has someone to turn to, someone who gets it. Don’t I deserve that, too?”

“Sam, you can always talk to me,” Emily says. “Or Matt. Or even those other garbage bags if you really want to.”

“I know, and I appreciate it.” Sam rubs her temples. “I don’t know how to explain it, Em. I don’t forgive him, but I don’t hate him. I just feel really sorry for him.”

“Sometimes I think you care too much,” Emily says.

“Sometimes I think you care too little,” Sam counters. “Are you still not talking to anyone but me and Matt?”

“Who else am I gonna talk to? Mike, my ex who almost shot my brains out? Ash and Chris, who both wanted him to do it? Fucking Jess, who betrayed the cardinal rule of friendship and stole my boyfriend from me in the first place?” She laughs hollowly. “Give me a break.”

“Okay, fair enough. But you deal with things your way, I deal with them my way, okay?” Sam reaches across the table to squeeze her friend’s hand. “Thanks for being worried about me.”

“I told you, I’m not a complete heartless bitch. I just don’t forgive people who fuck me over,” Emily says. “But if you’re sure seeing Josh isn’t going to hurt you, then I guess I can’t stop you. Just promise me you won’t do anything dumb, okay?”

“I promise, Em.” 


	4. Mending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris, Ashley, Sam, and Josh go on their "double date." Matt has a plan to fix things between Emily and Jess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again THANK YOU for all the feedback! I know these chapters are being posted really fast, but I just want to get them up as soon as I finish them. This is about the halfway point now, so hopefully I can keep up with these updates for the second half. I love your comments, they make me want to write more! <3

“Hey Ash? You ready to go?” Chris says, tapping on Ashley’s bedroom door. Her mother had let him in when he’d shown up to pick her up for their coffee “date” with Sam and Josh, but Ashley is still in her room.

“Um, hold on,” she says, her voice muffled through the door.

“I’m just gonna come in, okay?” he says. She doesn’t protest, so he opens the door. Ashley is sitting on her bed, still in her pajamas. “Ash, what’s going on? We’re supposed to meet Sam and Josh in like fifteen minutes!”

She sighs, hugging herself. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just… I don’t know, Chris. I’m scared.”

He frowns, coming to sit next to her. “Scared? Of Josh?”

She nods, putting her head in her hands. “Every time I think of him, I think of seeing him take off that mask and I just…” she sniffles, and Chris quickly wraps his arms around her, holding her close to him. “I’m s-sorry,” she says.

He gently takes her wrists in his hands and tugs her hands away from her face. “Hey,” he says softly. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“I know. But I want to. For you and Sam.”

He brushes a stray strand of hair out of her face. “Ash, I promise you, Josh isn’t going to hurt you. I know he did some… really bad things, but he’s not a danger to you now.”

“No, I know that. I don’t think I’m _scared_ of him, necessarily. He just reminds me of what happened. And that scares me.”

Chris kisses her forehead. “I promise, you don’t have to go.” He gives her an encouraging smile, and after a moment she returns it. Then she leans forward and kisses him. He feels his heart speed up, and when her hand reaches up to cup his face, it’s like his skin is full of electricity. He still can’t really get over the fact that this is something they do now, after all that time dancing around the subject. When they pull back, both flushed, Ashley seems much calmer.

“You’d better text Sam and tell her we’re going to be late,” she says.

“Okay,” he says. “You sure?”

She nods, looking determined. “I’m sure.”

~

When the couple gets to Starbucks, Sam and Josh are already there, sitting at a table near the door. Sam waves at them, and Chris sees Josh ever-so-slightly lean closer to the wall, like he’s trying to hide. He catches Sam’s eye, flicking his gaze pointedly to Josh, and she gives him a tight-lipped smile, raising her eyebrows as if to say, “this might not go exactly as we’d hoped.”

“Hey, bro,” Chris says, pulling out a chair for Ashley and then sitting so that’s he’s across from Josh. “How’s it going?”

“Hey,” Josh says in a quiet voice. “It’s, uh, it’s going.” He finally meets Ashley’s eyes, and gives her a nervous smile. “Hi, Ash.”

“Hi,” she says. “Um, so…”

“Have you guys ordered yet?” Chris asks quickly.

“Yeah, our drinks should be ready any minute,” Sam says. As if on cue, the barista calls for Sam and then Josh.

“Josh, you wanna grab those?” Sam asks. Josh appears startled by this request, but he gets up and heads to the counter.

“Hey Ash, will you order our drinks?” Chris says, handing her some cash. “I’ll pay.”

“Um, okay,” she says, frowning slightly and getting up to get in line. As soon as she’s out of earshot, Chris turns to Sam, looking serious.

“This is already the most uncomfortable experience of my life,” he says.

“Somehow I don’t think that’s true,” Sam says. “But yeah, there are some serious weird vibes going on. I honestly didn’t expect Ash to even come.”

“She almost didn’t,” Chris says. “But she said she wanted to try, for us.”

“I had quite the one-sided talk with Josh about not saying anything that might upset her,” Sam says. “He’s so quiet now, it’s… I’m not used to it.”

Chris nods, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think maybe we overestimated how normal any of us are capable of acting.”

“What are you two whispering about?” Josh says, appearing at the table with two drinks in his hands. He puts Sam’s in front of her and sits down again. “Chris isn’t telling you the dirty details about his sex life without me, is he?”

“Josh,” Sam says, frowning at him.

“Bro, I don’t kiss and tell,” Chris says. Sam rolls her eyes at him.

“I had a little bit more than kissing in mind,” Josh says, wiggling his eyebrows. Chris laughs. Ashley returns to the table.

“You better not be hitting on my boyfriend, Josh,” she says. There’s a hint of nervousness in her voice, but for a moment it feels like the four of them are hanging out just like they always used to, teasing each other like normal. Sam and Chris share a smile.

“So are you guys Facebook official and all that shit yet?” Josh says.

“Of course we are, do you know Chris?” Ashley says. Chris pouts.

“I feel as though I’m being made fun of,” he says.

“What? Make fun of you? Never,” Sam says, eager to keep the banter going.

For several minutes, the four continue joking with each other in this way, and Chris is starting to feel like maybe this wasn’t such a disastrous idea after all (even if most of the jokes are at his expense -- he can take one for the team). But something seems to shift in Josh after a while, almost like a switch has been flipped. He stops smiling, instead looking rather distressed. He puts his elbows on the table, resting his head in his hands and seeming to forget any of them are there. Ashley grows increasingly agitated the longer this goes on. Finally she gets up and mutters something about going to the bathroom. A minute later Sam’s phone buzzes and she says, “I’ll be right back,” going over to the bathroom as well.

Chris sighs; nothing good can last. He pokes Josh’s arm. “Bro? You okay?”

Josh jerks his head up like he’s been woken from a dream. “What? Oh. Sorry. I’m sorry. Where’s Ash and Sam?”

“Bathroom,” Chris says. “But dude, seriously, are you okay? You got all weird for a minute there.”

“I did? I didn’t mean to. Fuck,” Josh says, thumping his fist on the table and leaning back with a huff.

Sam and Ashley come out of the bathroom, and Ash gives Sam a nervous look before she turns to the boys and says, “Hey, Chris, I just remembered that I have an appointment today, so I’ve got to go. I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” Chris says, brow furrowed. “Um, do you want me to take you?”

“I can drive her,” Sam says. “Josh, you gonna be okay if Chris takes you home?”

“I’ll never say no to a chauffeur,” Josh says, but his tone is flat, no humor in it.

“Okay…” Chris says, still confused. Sam gives Chris’s shoulder a squeeze as she leads Ashley out of the Starbucks. Josh watches them leave with a gloomy expression.

“I really freaked her out,” he says.

“Who, Ash?” Chris says.

“Yeah, dude, didn’t you see her face?” Josh says. “I didn’t even realize I was getting all… freaky.”

“What was happening to you?” Chris says.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” his friend says, casting his gaze to the tabletop.

“Bro. Talk to me. Please.”

Josh looks up, and sees the earnest look on his best friend’s face. He sags in his chair a little, giving in. “Okay, fine. Um, ever since… you know, when I was alone in the mines…” he swallows hard. “There’s been this voice. In my head.”

“Your psychiatrist guy said you were taking medication for that stuff again,” Chris says.

“This is different,” Josh says. “I don’t know how to explain it. The other voices, and the hallucinations, they all felt the same. This doesn’t feel like those. It… kind of scares me.”

“What’s it say?” Chris asks, eyes wide.

“Just that it’s hungry. Sometimes it’s pretty quiet, but other times… especially when I’m with other people too long, it gets loud. Makes me feel…” He shudders, unable to finish the thought. Chris looks thoroughly disturbed.

“Dude. Have you talked to your doctors about this?”

“Sort of. Thing is, I don’t really think medication will make this go away,” he says. “Maybe this is my punishment.”

“What?” Now Chris is just confused.

“My punishment. For tormenting you, and Ash, and Sam… for not being there for Hannah and Beth.” He drags his hands across his face. “The only way I can get any peace and quiet in my dumb brain is when I’m all alone. And I hate being alone.”

“Josh, bro, come on. This isn’t punishment. You’ve got to try to forgive yourself.”

“Do you forgive me?” Josh asks. Chris hesitates. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”

“Josh…” Chris struggles to articulate his thoughts. “Look, okay, yes, what you did to us was shitty. Beyond shitty. Like, probably the worst thing you could do to a friend.”

“Gee, thanks, Chris,” Josh says.

“Let me finish. Despite what you did… I still want to be your best friend.”

“Why?” Josh says desperately.

“Because… because I love you, man. Okay?” Chris is sure he’s blushing. “So you don’t have to worry about being alone. Because I’m here for you, weird voices or not.”

Josh looks down, swallowing the lump in his throat. Finally he says, “Gosh, Christopher, don’t let Ash hear you talking that way or she’ll think she’s got competition.”

Chris kicks Josh’s leg under the table. “Hey fuck you, man, I was being sincere.”

“I know. Sorry.” He lets out a long breath. “I uh, I love you too, dude. Thanks for not abandoning me. Or whatever.”

“And I’m gonna help you figure out this voice thing,” Chris adds. “We’ll work it out, okay? You’re gonna be fine.”

“If you say so,” Josh says. “We should go. I gotta get back to my _marvelous_ home life, and you should make sure Ash is okay.”

“But she’s at an appointment…” Chris says. Josh rolls his eyes.

“She just said that to have an excuse to leave, numb-nuts. Jeez.” He stands up. “You’re lucky she puts up with your dumb ass.”

“Thanks, bud, that means a lot.” Chris gets up too, and Josh smirks at him in the way he always does when he’s pushing his buttons. It’s annoying, but it’s a familiar annoying. Chris just shakes his head and gestures to the door. “C’mon, jerk, let’s get outta here.”

“Right behind ya, cochise.”

~

Matt is not exactly a schemer. He doesn’t come up with sneaky plans or plots, and he’s terrible with secrets. Nonetheless, he’s feeling pretty confident about this latest plan to repair some things in his friends’ lives. He looks over at Jessica, who is sitting on his couch while some HGTV show plays on the television. Any minute now, Emily is going to show up. And then she’ll _have_ to interact with Jess, and the two of them can finally be friends again.

Emily walks into his house without knocking, as usual. She flounces into the room, opening her mouth to say something, but she sees Jess and stops short.

“What the hell is she doing here?” she says. Jess looks up, her eyes going wide.

“Emily?” she says, voice croaky and small. Matt feels suddenly very stupid for thinking this was a good idea; Jess is still so fragile mentally, and Emily has never been one for tact.

“Yeah. This is _my_ boyfriend’s house. Or are you trying to steal this one away from me, too?”

“Em, let’s talk,” Matt says, getting up and tugging her into the hall. She yanks her arm out of his grasp and glowers at him.

“Why is she here, Matt?”

“Because she’s my friend and I haven’t seen her since she got out of the hospital.”

Emily makes a scathing noise. “I’m sure that’s the only reason.”

“Okay, you’re right, it’s not. I want you two to talk.”

“What the hell? This is a joke, right?”

“No, Em.” Matt takes her hand. “Listen, I know you and Jess have some bad blood between you, but come on. Look at her. She could have died down there, she’s covered in horrible scars, and Mike told me that she still can’t come to terms with what really happened. She’s broken, Emily. She could use her best friend.”

“We’re not best friends,” Emily says. “She burned that bridge.”

“Emily,” he says. “Please. Just… think about everything she’s gone through. I know somewhere deep down you still care about her, just a little bit.”

Emily frowns at him for a moment, but finally she says, “Ugh, okay, whatever. I’ll talk to her. But don’t get your hopes up. And I’m mad at you now, so watch it.”

He gestures to the living room, and she stalks past him to sit on the couch by Jess. The silence is awkward. Jess is watching her, eyes still wide, and Emily is determinedly staring at the TV.

“Ugh, I hate this show,” she says.

“Me too,” Jess says quietly. “Matt put it on because he ‘doesn’t know what girls watch,’ apparently.”

Emily snorts. “Typical.” She picks up the remote and flicks through the channels, pausing at some reality singing show. “You like this crap, right?” she says.

“Mhm,” Jess says. “You used to like it too, we watched it every time you spent the night at my house.”

“Yeah, well, I only watched it for your benefit,” Emily says. Jess smiles.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, Em,” she says. Emily finally makes eye contact with her, and really takes in her former best friend’s features. Jess’s eyes are sunken and glassy with tears, and her face is marred with scars. The scoop neck of her shirt reveals the deeper scars across her chest. Those won’t ever disappear. Emily can only imagine how horrible Jess feels about that; she values her physical appearance more than anything.

“Um, yeah,” she says, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. “Jess… I’m, uh…”

“Sometimes, when I was still in the hospital, I’d think about calling you,” Jess says. “Just to make sure you were really alive. Mike told me you were, but sometimes I was worried he was just trying to keep me from freaking out.” She laughs a little. “But then I figured that I was probably the last person you wanted to talk to.”

“That was a smart move,” Emily says, trying to pretend like she isn’t close to tears. What the hell is wrong with her? Damn it, Matt was right. Seeing Jess so fragile is bringing back that rush of compassion that she used to feel for her best friend. And in light of what happened to them, fighting over a boy seems pretty fucking stupid. Emily knows she’s been clinging to that in order to distract herself from the horrors she went through, but it’s time to stop hiding from the truth.

“Jess, I’m… really happy that you made it out of there,” she says. Then she grabs Jess in a tight hug, which the other girl startles from at first, but then she hugs Emily back. Then both girls are talking at once, saying how stupid boys are and how they should never let a _guy_ ruin their friendship. Matt watches them from the doorway, feeling immensely proud of himself. See, Emily, he thinks, I’m not a _total_ meathead. 


	5. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess finally comes to terms with what happened to her. Josh and Sam continue to strengthen their friendship. Chris has a suspicion about what's going on with Josh.

Mike and Jess spend most nights together since she’s left the hospital. Their parents don’t seem to mind; for one thing, the two of them are both adults, and for another, Jess’s parents are desperate for anything that will make their daughter feel even marginally better. Mike’s presence always seems to brighten her mood, and when she wakes up from nightmares, it’s easier when he’s there to hold her.

This evening, the two of them have the house to themselves. They’re sitting on Jess’s bed, listening to some peppy pop song that Jess likes. She leans into his side, and he puts an arm around her. He doesn’t want to do anything to burst this little bubble of peace, but neither of them has talked about the events at Blackwood since that time in the hospital, and it’s starting to eat away at him. He rarely sees anyone else from the group these days, since he took time off school to be with Jess as much as possible. He’s got to talk to someone about it soon or he’ll explode.

“Hey babe,” he says, rubbing her arm. “Can we talk?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” she says, looking up at him.

He sighs. “It’s about… you know.”

She stiffens. “I don’t want to.”

“Babe, I know. But eventually you’re going to have to…”

“Michael. Please.” She shakes her head firmly. “I can’t do it. I just can’t.”

“Your nightmares,” he says. “They’re getting worse, I can tell. It’s breaking my heart, Jess. Maybe if we talked about them, it’d help.”

“I don’t know. Maybe you’re right.” She reaches for his hand, the one with the missing fingers. His parents are going to pay for prosthetic fingers eventually, but right now he has to deal with a less-than-firm grip for one hand.

Jessica examines his hand while she speaks. “The dreams… they just keep feeling more real. The snow, and the _thing_ attacking me. And then I’m alone in those mines. But the noises… it’s like something screaming. That’s when I wake up.” She takes a shaky breath. “But it can’t be real, it just can’t.”

“Jess…” Mike says. “How do you explain, you know, all this? If it wasn’t real?” He runs a finger softly across the scars on her chest. She closes her eyes, tears stuck to her lashes.

“I can’t, I can’t,” she whispers. Her grip on his hand is suddenly crushing, and she opens her eyes again, panic all over her face. “Oh my God, Michael. The face. The monster’s face. I saw it, it was right in front of me, it just…” she gestures weakly to her chest. “It just _tore_ into me, like I was made of paper. Those eyes, and the teeth, and oh God oh no, Mike, it happened. It happened. Why did it happen?” Her voice is rising in pitch, verging on total hysteria. Mike holds her close.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he says, but she suddenly thrashes away from him, sobbing into her hands. He’s taken aback, unsure of what to do. Jess continues to cry, her words unintelligible, and Mike feels vaguely panicky. Think, Mikey, think, how do you fix this? He’s not really good with these kinds of breakdowns, never has been. But he knows someone who is. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and quickly texts Sam: _yo. big emergency over here._

 

_Sam: uh oh. what’s up??_

_Mike: u know how jess has been repressing her memories or whatever??_

_Mike: well she ain’t repressing them anymore. it’s bad, sam. idk what to do._

_Sam: shit. where are u?_

_Mike: jess’s house. pls help!!!! i’m freaking out!!!_

_Sam: ok stay calm. omw._

 

Mike sighs in relief, reaching out hesitantly to stroke Jess’s hair. She’s curled in a ball on her bed, shaking. She flinches away from his touch, and he’s overwhelmed with guilt.

~

_Sam: hey. u up for a little mission?_

_Em: ugh, i was just about to put on a face mask. what is it?_

_Sam: jess is having a bad night. i guess she’s finally coming to terms w/ what happened._

_Em: oh no…_

_Sam: yeah. can u go check on her??? she’s at her house. think she could use help._

_Em: omg of course. face mask will have to wait. i’ll text u!!_

~

When there’s a knock on Jess’s front door, Mike feels relief flood him. “I’m gonna get that, okay? I’ll be right back,” he says to Jess. She doesn’t acknowledge him. He hurries down the stairs and opens the door, saying, “Sam, thank God, I don’t know what to--”

It’s not Sam standing in the doorway. It’s Emily. She looks just as shocked to see him as he does her.

“Mike? What the hell are you doing here?” she says.

“Spending the night,” he says, frowning. “What are you doing here, I thought Sam was coming.”

“She asked me to come check on Jess. Didn’t tell me you’d be here, though.” She pushes past him. “Where is she?”

“In her room,” he replies. “Emily, look…”

“I don’t want to talk to you, I just want to see Jess,” she says, already making her way upstairs. Mike trails behind. He and Emily haven’t spoken since the car ride home from the hospital. He feels guilty as shit for almost shooting her, of course, but it’s kind of hard to beg forgiveness when Emily won’t even acknowledge his texts, so he’d given up trying to make amends.

The two of them enter Jess’s room, and Emily immediately rushes to Jess’s side. She’s still curled up on the bed, crying. Emily grips her by the shoulders and tugs her up, a little roughly. This seems to momentarily distract her, because she frowns in confusion.

“Em? What’re you doing here?”

“Looking out for my girl, that’s what,” Emily says. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I can’t…” Jess whispers. “Em, the things that happened to me. I didn’t want to remember. It’s all so horrible.” She chokes out another sob, and Emily grabs her face, not harshly, but firmly, so she can’t curl up again.

“Hey. Listen to me. You’re right, it was horrible. I know, I was down there too. I saw those things. I wouldn’t wish that experience on anybody, not even someone like fuckboy over there,” she says, shooting a look at Mike. “I wish it didn’t happen, but it did.”

“No,” Jess whimpers.

“Yes, honey. The one good thing my therapist told me before I stopped seeing her was that the first step to recovery is acknowledging the problem. I know that’s like, what they tell drug addicts or whatever, but it’s true. I’ve been trying to pretend it didn’t happen to me, but it just made me feel worse. You’re gonna get through this now, got it?”

Jess nods, still crying, but less hysterical. Emily hugs her. “I’m gonna get you some water.” she says.

She gets up, hardly even looking at Mike as she passes him. He follows her into the hall.

“Wow, Em. I gotta say, I didn’t expect you to be so good at that kind of thing, but that was really cool.”

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty good.” She glances back at the bedroom door. “But she’s far from better. It’s gonna be a tough time for a while.”

“You should stay tonight,” Mike blurts out. Emily raises her eyebrows.

“What, you want me to snuggle into bed with you and Jess? No thank you.”

“I’ll sleep in the guest room,” he says. “You won’t have to talk to me or anything. I just think it would be good for Jess to have you here. You seem to know what you’re doing more than I do.”

“Well that’s not a surprise,” she says. She squints at him. “You really care about her, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do,” he says.

“Huh. Well, good.” She crosses her arms. “I guess I’ll stay tonight.”

“Thank you,” he says, and he really means it. “And Em? Not that it’s probably worth anything to you now, but… I’m really sorry. For, you know. What happened at Blackwood.”

“You should be,” she says, her voice not quite icy, but still stern. “I don’t think I can ever trust you again, Michael.”

“I know,” he says. “I’m sorry. I was an idiot.”

She runs her tongue over her teeth. “Okay, enough. Go get Jess some water, she’s probably dehydrated from all that crying.”

“Got it,” he says. She heads back into Jess’s room without another word. It’s not much, but Mike still marks it down as progress.

~

It was a shaky start, but slowly Josh and Sam have fallen into a rhythm. Sam has yoga every Wednesday and Saturday, and Josh meets her for coffee afterwards. Then they walk around the streets, talking about trivial things like TV shows or the latest radio hits; but sometimes, more and more often as the weeks pass, they talk about more serious things, too. Josh talks about his grief for his sisters, and how he’s still struggling to put the pain of it behind him. Sam tells him that she still dreams about Hannah sometimes, how she misses her more than she lets herself realize. They tend to avoid talking about Blackwood, but when it does come up, they work through it with minor discomfort.

It’s good, Josh thinks, but precarious. Even now, as he sits across from Sam in his dining room, the two of them poking at some microwaved pasta that Josh had unearthed from the fridge, Josh can tell that she’s holding back. He tries not to feel too hurt by this, but he can’t help the way he moodily stabs his fork into his food.

“So how’s therapy going?” she asks him. He shrugs.

“It’s okay. I mean, I’ve been seeing doctors for years now, it kinda blurs together, you know? But I think there’s been progress. That’s what Dr. Hill says.”

“I’m sure he’s right,” Sam says, smiling encouragingly. “You seem better than before. More like yourself.”

“Good, good,” he says. “That’s the goal.” He points his fork at her. “What about you, huh?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she says. “I feel like I can’t open up to this guy I’m seeing right now. Or the woman before that. I just get so uncomfortable, you know?”

“I'm familiar with the feeling, yes,” he says. “It gets easier. Sort of. You’re talking to them at least a little, right? About, uh, about Blackwood?”

“It’s hard to talk about,” she says, staring at her plate.

“I know,” he says. “But Sammy, you’ve gotta let them help you.”

“I’m trying,” she says. “It’s just that no one _gets_ it. Except you, anyway.”

He gets the sudden urge to kiss her. That would not be the best idea, he knows it, but he can’t help the feeling. It’s been happening more and more lately. The more she lets him in, the more he wants it. To kiss her, hold her, _devour_ her….

Whoa. No. No no no. That last thought, that’s not him, can’t be him. The voice in his head seems to get more active when his lust gets out of hand. It frightens him. He wonders if he should tell Sam about this. But the thought of telling her and scaring her away, when she’s finally letting him hug her without flinching, treating him less and less like he’s something to be wary of… he can’t lose that. Not now.

“I think you should talk to the others,” he tells her. “About your feelings. They’re your friends, they’ll wanna help you.”

“You sound like Emily,” she says. “Josh, the fact is, the group doesn’t really ‘talk’ about things anymore. We don’t all get together and share our feelings. Maybe it’d help if we did, but I don’t know if it’s possible right now. I’ll be fine, I promise. I’ve got you to talk to.”

“If you say so,” he says, drumming his fingers on the tabletop. The voice subsides, but he knows it will return. It always does.

~

“Hey Ash? What do you remember about the wendigos?” Chris says. It’s seemingly out of nowhere, as the two of them had been quietly absorbed in their own tasks in Chris’s room up to this point; Ashley was reading a book, and Chris was doing something on his phone.

“Ugh, Chris, I try really hard _not_ to think about those things,” she says, putting her book down. “Why?”

“I’m just thinking about something Josh told me the other day,” he says. “I’ve been looking up wendigos online, and there’s lots of different versions of the mythology or whatever, but I’m trying to see if… I don’t know. It seems crazy.”

“What, what are you thinking?” Ashley says. “What did Josh tell you?”

“He said there’s a voice he keeps hearing in his head. One that’s hungry.” Chris shakes his head. “It just reminded me of some of the things we found out back at Blackwood. About the spirit possessing someone and making them so hungry they’d eat a person.”

“Oh, God,” Ashley says. “Chris, what are you saying?”

“Well, when we blew up the house, we like, released the spirit of the wendigo, right? Maybe it like, went into Josh. But he didn’t actually resort to cannibalism, so it’s just hanging out in his body or something.”

“Holy moley,” Ashley says, grabbing Chris’s arm. “Chris, if you’re right… oh, poor Josh. There’s gotta be some way to reverse it, right? Or get it out of him?”

“I don’t know,” Chris replies. “I’ve been trying to find _something_ , but there’s so much to look through, I don’t know which sites are even helpful.”

“I’ll help you look,” she says, going to Chris’s computer and turning it on. “We’ll find something, we’ve got to.”

Chris nods grimly. “Well, guess we’re in for a long night. Let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading once again guys! A heads up: from here on out, certain things about the wendigo myth will be adjusted for this particular plot; it might not line up exactly with your own headcanons for these creatures or with certain aspects of the mythology that you might find online.


	6. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh makes a difficult decision. Chris discovers what may be the only way to save his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the penultimate chapter, you guys. I was able to write this story a lot faster than I expected, and most of the reason for that is because of all the wonderfully encouraging comments from all of you! Thank you so much for those, as always.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING in this chapter for talk of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

“Well, I think that’s all we needed to discuss today. Unless you had something else you wanted to talk about, Josh?”

Josh avoids Dr. Hill’s probing gaze, slumping deeper into the armchair across from the doctor. He scans the room, a spacious office with tall bookshelves and a large window. His parents may keep their son’s mental state a shameful secret, but they still spare no expenses in getting him psychiatrists in the wealthiest part of town.

“Joshua,” Dr. Hill probes gently. “Something on your mind?”

Josh chews on the inside of his cheek. “I dunno,” he mumbles. The truth is, there’s something big that he’s been stewing over for several days now, but he doesn’t know quite how to put it into words. Still, Dr. Hill has always been patient with him when he struggles to articulate himself, so he tries. “I’m worried about Sam,” he says.

“Go on,” Dr. Hill says, nodding. “Worried why? You mentioned before that she confided in you she was having trouble opening up in therapy; is that why you’re worried?”

Josh shakes his head slowly. “No. I mean, yes, but no. I’m worried about her getting hurt.”

“How would she get hurt, Josh?”

He digs his fingers into his thighs. “I could hurt her. I’m scared I’ll hurt her.”

“Like you did before? With your prank?”

“No. Different. Worse.”

“Josh, remember what we’ve talked about; only you can control your actions. You have the power to choose your path. You’ve responded well to your new medication, and spending time with your friends is very good. Why do you think you would hurt her? Do you want to hurt her?”

“No!” he says urgently. How to explain, how to make him understand? “It’s not me. It’s…  someone else.” He presses the heel of his hand against his temple, as if he could push the voice right out of his mind.

“I see.” Dr. Hill writes something down on his notepad. “Josh, you’ve reported that your symptoms of psychosis have lessened with your medication. Is this untrue?”

“No, no, that’s not… it’s different. I’ve told you. There’s a voice in my head, it’s not mine.”

“That sounds like a hallucination,” Dr. Hill says. “Perhaps we should try another medication.”

“I don’t think that’s what is causing it. I don’t think medicine will help.”

“Josh, I know when symptoms remain, it is easy to get discouraged and feel that nothing will help, but I promise you, it’s not true. We will find what works for you. You’ve just got to stick with it, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” he says, but he’s lying through his teeth. He knows Dr. Hill is wrong. This isn’t a hallucination or a delusion. This is something else.

After his session with the psychiatrist is over, Josh sits in his car in the parking lot, hands gripping the steering wheel. It’d taken weeks of convincing his mother before he was allowed to drive on his own again, and having his car back had been such a relief. Now, though, he thinks his mom was right to hesitate. It’s far too tempting to just drive his car into a fucking brick wall right now. He hasn’t felt this suicidal in quite some time; he knows he shouldn’t be driving in this state, so he throws his keys in the back seat and takes out his phone to call Chris.

“Greetings, loved ones,” Chris says in a silly voice. “You’ve reached Chris’s cell phone. I’m probably too busy with very important business to get to your call, but leave a message and I might just call you back. Chris out.”

The voicemail beeps. Josh debates whether or not to just hang up. Instead, he breathes out through his nose and says, “Hey Chris, it’s Josh. I’m, uh, I’m not doing too hot. Can you call me back, like, as soon as you can? Thanks, cochise.” He ends the call and taps his phone against his forehead.

He won’t kill himself. But he realizes that there is something he needs to do, something that will tear him apart inside, but he has to do it. For Sam’s sake. To protect her.

~

Sam’s surprised when Josh asks if they can meet up right away, at the park in his neighborhood, but she’s not too concerned. In fact, she’s kind of pleased. She used to spend many a lazy summer evening at that park, with Josh and Hannah and Beth, and Chris sometimes too. Mike lived right down the road, so he’d drop by more often than not. They’d all lounge on the play equipment and play truth or dare, or just joke around and tell stupid stories. The places holds a lot of good memories for her, and when she sees Josh sitting at the bottom of the slide, looking goofy and out of place like they all always did sitting there, she smiles.

“Hey you,” she says, dropping down to sit beside him. “Haven’t been here in awhile. Gets smaller every time, I swear.”

Josh lets out a huff that’s supposed to pass as a laugh. Sam furrows her brow; he doesn’t look too good, his face pale and his expression pained.

“I need to talk to you,” he says, looking anywhere but at her.

“Okay…” she says.

“Sam, I… I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

It’s like a slap in the face. “Excuse me?” she says incredulously. “What are you talking about, Josh?”

“It’s not good for you to be around me,” he says numbly. “We need to go our separate ways.”

“No.” She says it so determinedly, almost desperately. Tears sting Josh’s eyes. He can’t look at her. “Josh, no, that isn’t true.”

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“Please don’t do this,” she says, feeling like she’s about to cry. “After everything we’ve been through, you can’t just walk away.”

“This is the way it has to be,” he tells her. She starts to protest again, but he cuts her off, finally looking at her. He has to make her understand, make her believe him. He’s doing this to save her. “Sam, listen to me. I don’t want to see you anymore. It’s not safe. It’s not good.” He wants to throw up. He hates himself for the way his words hurt her, for the look of pain that crosses her face. He wishes she would slap him or something.

“Don’t do this,” she says again.

It takes all his strength not to touch her, hold her, never let her go. “I’m sorry,” he repeats, because what else can he say?

Sam stands, backing away from him. He whispers another “I’m sorry” as she turns away, leaving him on the playground that, despite being made for people half his size, still manages to make him feel small.

~

Sam doesn’t quite know where she’s going. She just wanders Josh’s neighborhood, hardly able to process what just occurred. How could Josh just abandon her like this? And why? He’d looked like it was killing him to push her away, but why would he feel the need to do it at all? They’d been doing so well, she thought things were getting better for them both.

A car is approaching from behind her, and she steps up onto the sidewalk to let it pass. The vehicle slows down, and she glances over at it. It’s Mike. He stops the car, the driver’s side just a couple feet away from Sam.

“Sam? What’re you doing here?” Mike says, leaning out the window.

She opens her mouth to explain, but instead of words she just starts crying. Mike immediately puts the car in park and gets out, leading her over to the passenger side and helping her in.

“Sam, what happened?” he asks, getting back into the car and continuing to drive. She wipes her eyes with her sleeve, buckling herself in.

“I was just with Josh,” she says. “And he basically told me he didn’t want to see me again.”

“Shit,” Mike says sympathetically.

“It came out of nowhere!” she exclaims. “We’ve been so good lately, he’d really opened up to me again. And now he just… abandons me? When we still need each other?”

“Maybe he doesn’t feel like you need each other anymore,” Mike says. Sam shakes her head.

“No. No, he still needs someone, he can’t be alone. And I need him,” she adds, the tears building up again. Mike glances over at her.

“Hey,” he says gently. “I’m going over to Jess’s right now. You should come with. She always likes seeing you, and it’s been a while. It’ll take your mind off all this, yeah?”

She nods, trying to calm herself. “Yeah. Okay.”

~

Chris hasn’t slept; he and Ashley have been digging through archives of websites on monsters and mythology and Native American legends, and they’re both convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that Chris is right, and the wendigo is haunting Josh. As for finding a way to release the thing, they’re still searching.

Chris pushes himself away from his computer, scrubbing his eyes. His head is killing him. He glances over at his phone to see he’s got notifications for a missed call from Josh and a voicemail. “Oh fuck,” he says. He hadn’t realized his phone was on silent. He listens to the voicemail, his face growing pale. It’s from a couple hours ago -- what if he was too late? “Shit, fuck, shit,” he says, aggressively ending the call to voicemail and opening his contacts.

“What is it?” Ashley says, looking up from the mess of print-outs spread out on Chris’s floor, where she sits cross-legged.

“Josh called me earlier, he sounded bad,” Chris says. “I just hope he hasn’t done anything stupid -- damn it!” Chris’s call to Josh had gone to voicemail. He opens his text messages and frantically types, _bro please please PLEASE pick up ur phone._

A minute later, Josh replies. The clenched feeling of Chris’s heart lessens.

 

_Josh: sorry i was driving_

_Chris: its cool dude. i just got your message, i’m SO sorry i didn’t answer. are u ok????_

_Josh: i’m fine_

_Chris: do u want me to call u? or come over?_

_Josh: no._

_Chris: josh, its no big deal, i totally can. i know you don’t like to be alone._

_Josh: just fucking drop it, chris._

 

Chris winces and sets his phone down on his desk. “Fuuuuck,” he says.

“Is Josh okay?” Ashley asks.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t think so, but he won’t talk to me.” He massages his temples, willing the headache to go away. “I gotta call Sam, maybe she can help. She’s been spending more time with Josh than I have lately.”

He calls her, and when she picks up, he hears football in the background. Sam doesn’t watch football. “Sam? Where are you?” he says.

“I’m at Jessica’s, with Mike,” she says. She sounds sad.

“Oh,” he says. “Well, hey, have you talked to Josh recently?”

“Yeah, I was just with him,” she says. There’s an edge to her voice, and he realizes she might be crying. “Chris, he told me… he said that he didn’t want to see me anymore.”

“What? Why?” Chris says.

There’s a shuffling sound on Sam’s end, like she’s drying her tears. “Um, he said it wasn’t good for us. That it wasn’t _safe_.”

It clicks into place for Chris. “That actually makes perfect sense.”

“What the hell? How?”

“Sam, listen. Ash and I have been up all night looking into this shit. We think that the wendigo back at the lodge is haunting Josh.”

“Haunting? And you of all people believe that?” Sam asks. “Unexpected.”

“C’mon, Sam. I’ve seen them with my own eyes, I know they’re real,” Chris says. “And it makes sense! We released the spirit, and Josh was down in the mines all alone, in a psychotic state, he would have been easy to overtake. How else do you explain the fact that he was covered in someone else’s blood? If the rescue team hadn’t gotten there in time, he probably would have eaten that body and turned into one of those things!”

Sam’s quiet for a moment. “Yeah, that does make sense.”

“And Josh told me the other day that there’s this voice in his head that medication doesn’t get rid of. One that’s hungry.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. Sam, he’s terrified of this voice. That must be why he told you to go away, because he’s afraid of what he might do.”

“We have to fix this,” Sam says. “Chris, we can’t let him go on like this, it’s dangerous!”

“I know, that’s what Ash and I have been working on,” he says. “You should come help us out, maybe. Hell, ask Mike and Jess, too. We could use all the help we can get.”

“Okay,” she says. “Why don’t you text everyone and tell them what you know. I’ll be there soon.”

“Roger that,” Chris says.

After they hang up, Chris drafts a lengthy text message that he sends to everyone in their broken little group of survivors.

 

_Chris: Hey guys. I know we don’t all talk much lately, but this is an emergency. Ash and I figured out that Josh is being haunted by one of the wendigos from the lodge. We’re trying to find a way to exorcise it from him or whatever, but it’s been difficult. We could use all your help coming up with a plan._

 

It feels like forever before someone replies to the thread.

 

_Emily: why do you still have my number?_

_Sam: i’m on my way_

_Mike: fuck it, i’m coming too. can someone come be w/ jess though?_

_Emily: matt and i will._

 

Ashley puts down her phone, where she’s been watching the messages come in. “Well, I guess I’m not surprised.”

“I wish Emily would just stop hating us already,” Chris huffs.

“I don’t blame her,” Ashley says, looking sad. “I could’ve gotten her killed with how I acted.”

“We all put someone’s life at risk back there,” he says, shaking his head. “She can’t hold it against us forever. I mean, it _is_ Em we’re talking about, so I guess she can.”

Sam and Mike show up soon after, and the four of them sit in Chris’s room, all looking drained and somber.

“So what’re we doing?” Mike says.

“I guess we’re just looking through all this stuff, trying to figure out the best way to fix this,” Ashley says, gesturing to the papers before her. Mike wrinkles his nose, but grabs a stack. Sam follows suit, and Chris turns to his computer to start printing out more.

~

Ashley has fallen asleep against Sam’s shoulder, and Sam is barely keeping her eyes open as she stares at a page, not comprehending it. Mike’s eyes are glazing over at the tiny font on the PDF Chris had given him. Chris, however, is reading something on his screen with increased excitement. “You guys,” he says loudly, causing Ash and Sam to jump and Mike to scatter his pages everywhere.

“Jesus fuck, dude, was that necessary?” Mike grumbles.

“I found something. Listen to this,” Chris says eagerly. “It says that if a wendigo spirit finds that a host is not suitable for an extended period of time, it will exit the body in search of a weaker-minded person.”

“Josh has been resisting for months,” Ashley says. “Shouldn’t it have left him by now if that’s true?”

“Not exactly,” Chris says. His excitement falters. “Um, it says that the wendigo is bound to nature, and its home is in the forest. It will only exit the body if it is in the place it came from.”

They’re all silent, the truth of what Chris is saying sinking in.

“Christ on a fucking cracker,” Mike says, putting his face in his hands.

Sam, however, looks resigned, almost as if she’s always known it would come to this. “We have to go back to Blackwood,” she says. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this will have a happy ending, hold onto your hats.


	7. Returning (Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The friends return to Blackwood one final time, hoping to finally be rid of the things that have haunted them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the final chapter. This is a hell of a lot longer than the other chapters, probably the longest of them all. But I hope you'll enjoy it. Mild trigger warning for mention of suicidal thoughts.

Ashley can hardly process what has just been said. Go _back_ to Blackwood? After everything that happened to them up there, knowing exactly the kind of danger they could be put in, they have to go back?

“No,” she says. “No, no, we can’t do that.”

“It’s the only way, Ash,” Chris says.

“There’s gotta be another option,” she says. “If we just keep reading, maybe we’ll find something.”

“As much as I’d like to agree with you, Ashley, I think Chris is probably right,” Mike says. “Fucking hell. I can’t believe this.”

“This is going to be difficult,” Sam says. “Josh is not gonna want to go back.”

“I don’t blame him,” Ashley says, crossing her arms. Chris gives her a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he says. “I think we killed all the wendigos when we blew up the lodge.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” she says. “I don’t like this, Chris.”

“Well you don’t have to come,” Mike points out. She glares at him.

“What? Of course I do. I’m not leaving Chris -- or any of you -- out on that mountain alone. We stick together, that’s how we survived before.”

Chris looks surprised. “Wait, are you all coming?”

“Obviously,” Sam says. “Josh is our friend, we have to help him.”

Mike and Ashley agree, and Chris pulls out his phone to call Josh. The first time, there’s no answer, so he calls again. On the fourth call, Josh picks up. “Leave me alone,” he says.

“Josh, listen to me,” Chris tells him. “Remember how I told you I was gonna help you figure out that voice in your head?”

“Chris, please, just leave me--”

“I know what it is, Josh. It’s a wendigo. Those monsters from the mountain.”

Josh is breathing heavily on the line. “What?”

“Bro, you’ve got to believe me. Ashley and Sam and Mike and I, we’ve been doing all kinds of research about it, and we found a way to fix it. To make it go away.”

“I’m listening,” Josh says warily.

“We have to take you back to Blackwood.”

“No,” Josh says immediately.

“It can only get out of you if we go back, Josh!”

“I don’t want to go back, I can’t go back there. Please, Chris,” Josh whimpers. Chris’s heart aches.

“It’s the only way, bro. We’ve got to get it out of you, so you can finally really get better. I swear to God we will kidnap you if we have to.”

“Like you could pull that off.”

“I have Mike with me, bro. And Ash and Sam. We outnumber you. We could totally do it.”

Josh lets out a shaky laugh. Then, he sighs. “Okay. Okay. I trust you. I’ll go with you.”

“We’ll fix this, I promise,” Chris says. “Think you can dip into the family funds for some plane tickets?”

“Roger that,” Josh says. He sounds scared, but Chris knows he’ll still go through with it. He just hopes he won’t be letting Josh down. “When are we leaving?”

“As soon as possible,” Chris says.

“Just get things over with,” Josh agrees.

“We’ll be there soon,” Chris says. “Stay put, okay? Don’t do anything dumb.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Josh says dismissively. After they’ve hung up, Chris prints out the article where he’d found the information about releasing the wendigo and then grabs his coat. It’s well into spring by this point, but it will be cold up on the mountain.

“I’m gonna text the others and let them know,” Ashley says.

“No way in hell they’re going to want to come with us,” Chris says. Ashley shrugs.

“I still think they should know. Just in case.”

~

The four friends pile into Mike’s car and drive down to Josh’s neighborhood, parking in front of his expansive house. Mike purses his lips, squinting at the house. “Haven’t been here in a long-ass time,” he says. “Feels weird.”

They get out of the car and knock on the door. Josh’s parents are away, which is far from unusual, so Josh answers. He looks terrible, with eyes bloodshot from crying and his hair a mess. His eyes flicker to each of them, looking a little terrified of Mike and even moreso of Sam. Finally, he steps back and gestures for them to come in.

“Hey,” he says, all his usual bravado and jokes missing, so the greeting comes out hollow. Chris tugs him into a hug, and he startles a bit at the sudden affection before he allows himself to enjoy the human contact for once. But then he becomes self-conscious and pulls back, wrinkling his nose at his friend. “Damn, bro, it’s only been like a week since I’ve seen you. It’s not like I died or something.”

It’s not the best joke to make, given the message he’d left and Chris’s knowledge of Josh’s history with suicide. “I was really worried about you,” Chris says, frowning. “Anyway, I brought this,” he says, holding a stack of paper. “It’s the thing I found that I told you about on the phone, about how to get rid of the wendigo. Thought you might want to look at it yourself.”

“Um, yeah, okay.” Josh takes the papers. “You can buy the plane tickets while I read this, I guess. My dad’s card info will auto-fill in. We can use his frequent flier shit.” He leads the way to the living room, dropping onto the couch. Chris sits beside him and picks up the laptop that’s sitting on the coffee table. Ashley perches on the arm of the couch to watch Chris, and Mike remains standing, looking vaguely uncomfortable. Sam leans in the doorway, keeping the most distance. Josh avoids looking at her.

“So,” Mike says suddenly. “You seem like… a lot better than before.”

Right. Last time Mike and Josh had talked, it had been in the mines, when Josh’s delusions were raging. Mike had never seen Josh off his meds before, no one had except Chris, and even then it had never been that bad. “Yeah, I’m back on medication, so…” Josh smiles wryly. “Not so batshit crazy. Clozapine is a hell of a drug.”

“Is that what you’re taking now?” Chris says, glancing up from the computer.

“Uh-huh. Why, you keepin’ track of my medical history or something?”

“I just like to be in the know,” Chris says.

Josh turns back to the papers Chris had given him. “This is so fucking unreal,” he mutters.

There’s a knock on the door, and they all look up in surprise. “You expecting company?” Mike asks Josh. He shakes his head.

“I’ll get it,” Sam says. Mike follows her. They get to the door and Sam peers through the peephole. Standing outside are Matt, Emily, and Jess. She opens the door. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We got Ashley’s text,” Matt explains.

“You didn’t think you were just gonna leave us out of the loop, did you?” Emily says, pushing past Sam and Mike and leading Jess behind her.

“We didn’t think you’d want to come,” Mike says. Emily snorts.

“Oh believe me, I don’t want anything to do with that hellscape again,” she says. “But it isn’t safe up there, and you guys are gonna need tough people. Ashley and Chris are a couple of ding-dongs, and you’re a trigger-happy dillhole, so I figured my services would be required.” She looks at Mike like she’s daring him to challenge her. He doesn’t say anything, just raises his eyebrows. Jess disentangles herself from Emily’s grip and hugs her boyfriend, and Matt just has that “can’t argue with Emily” look on his face. They all head back to the living room.

“Whoa,” Chris says. “We thought we heard voices, but I didn’t think you guys were all actually here.”

“We want to help Josh,” Jess says, her voice soft but firm. Josh’s head jerks up, and he looks at Jess like he’s never seen anything quite like her. The two of them have never been close, but there’s a tenderness in her eyes when she looks at him.

“Okay, so I’m buying eight plane tickets to Canada?” Chris says.

“Wow, you can count,” Emily says, rolling her eyes.

Chris ignores this and clicks around a couple more times on the computer. “Aaaand done. Our flight is in four hours.”

They all look at each other, the reality of the task before them settling in. Jess’s grip on Mike’s hand tightens. Ashley glances at Josh, who looks like he might be sick. She wonders if they’ll even be able to get him on the plane.

~

As it turns out, Josh’s medication makes him just sluggish and sleepy enough that the drive to the airport goes by without much drama. They take two cars, Sam switching out to Emily’s car with Matt and Jess so Josh can take her spot in Mike’s car. Josh tries to hide his disappointment. The eight friends arrive at the terminal and pay for parking, then make their way to their gate. They aren’t bringing anything except Emily’s carryon bag and Chris’s backpack, since the plan is to be in and out within a day; none of them have the desire to stick around longer than necessary.

“You’re sure the area will be like, accessible?” Matt asks, as they sit by their gate. Chris nods.

“Yeah, they’ve repaired most of the damage done to the cable car and everything, and the Washingtons figured the case was as closed as it was ever going to be, so the cops aren’t gonna be around. It should be just us.” They all shift nervously at this, hoping Chris is right.

Boarding the plane is fine, but takeoff is when some drama stirs up. Josh is sitting in the window seat with Chris and Ashley; Mike, Jess, and Sam take the next row, and Matt and Emily take the row behind them. As the plane ascends, Josh’s breathing turns shallow. Chris’s hand finds his and he squeezes it like a lifeline, staring out the window at the clouds.

“We can’t do this,” he whispers. “Chris, I can’t do it, I have to get off this plane, please make them stop the plane.”

“Josh,” Chris says, voice calm and slow. “Look at me.” He waits until his friend does so, eyes slightly wild. “We can’t stop the plane. We’re going to do this, and it’s going to be okay. I won’t let anything bad happen to you, okay?”

Josh nods, but he still feels like he might pass out. Maybe that would be for the best. He closes his eyes, unable to slow his breathing. Chris takes Josh’s hand and puts it on his own chest.

“Match my breathing,” he says. This isn’t the first time he’s done something like this -- Chris has helped him through panic attacks many times during their friendship. Josh focuses on the rise and fall of Chris’s chest under the scratchy material of his sweater, and slowly feels his breaths return to normal. Not too long after, he feels the exhaustion overtake him, and he slouches against the window, asleep.

~

Jess is surprised at how calm she feels. Perhaps it’s just because it doesn’t feel real yet, but sitting in the plane between Mike and Sam, she feels pretty safe. When Mike asks the flight attendant for a drink to calm his nerves, she squeezes his hand.

“You okay?” she asks.

“Huh? Yeah, totally.” He fakes nonchalance. “I’m never not okay. What about you, you holding up alright?”

She nods. “Shockingly, yeah. Probably because I’ve got my big strong hero boyfriend with me.” He smiles at this, kissing her temple.

“Sam?” Mike inquires, leaning over to look at her. “How ya doing?”

“Ready for this to be over,” she says. “For good this time.” She lifts herself up a little bit in her seat and sees that Josh is sleeping, having shifted in his sleep so his head is on Chris’s shoulder. It looks like Ashley might be asleep, too, because her head is against Chris’s other shoulder.

“You’re gonna have to talk to him at some point,” Mike says in a low voice. “Josh, I mean.”

“I know. I will.” Sam sits back down. “After this is over. Anyway, at least… now I know why he said those things to me before. So maybe he won’t want me out of his life after all.”

“Of course he doesn’t want that,” Jess says. “God, Sam, the boy is totally crushing on you.”

“ _Jess_ ,” Sam says, embarrassed.

“What?” she says, smiling. “He has been for like, ever. Trust me, I’m an _expert_ at seeing when a boy’s got it bad, and he totally does.”

“That’s true,” Mike says. “Like, he’s straight-up told us guys he likes you.”

“Oh my god,” Sam says, shaking her head. “You guys, stop. I can’t… I can’t even _think_ about that right now. Not yet. I just need to make sure he’s okay first.”

~

After the flight lands, Josh jerking awake and Chris subtly wiping his friend’s drool off his shoulder, they all head to the parking lot, where Mr. Washington always keeps an SUV. Josh had taken the keys before they’d left California, so they all clamber in. Mike offers to drive, and they begin the familiar road up to the cable car station.

Jess’s calm dissolves the further up the road they go. She starts shaking, heart pounding wildly in her chest. She grabs Matt, who is sitting beside her, and wordlessly begs him for help. He understands instantly, telling Mike to stop the car. They pull over, and Jess unbuckles, opening the door and stepping out onto the side of the road. Mike and Matt follow her, both of them putting their hands on her shoulders and murmuring words of reassurance. The rest of them sit in the car, uncertain of what to do, their own anxieties building.

Then suddenly, Josh bolts. He’s out of the car before any of them can process it, and he starts to run down the road, back the way they’d come.

“Son of a bitch,” Chris says, quickly getting out of the car and running after him. Mike, who catches on when he sees everyone piling out of the car to watch Chris run after his friend, also starts chasing Josh. Together they catch up to him, and Chris tackles him none-too-gently to the dirt.

“Let me go!” Josh yells. “Please, please just let me go.” He starts sobbing. Chris doesn’t get off of him, pinning him to the ground.

“Josh, man, come on,” he says. “You’ve got to do this. I’ll be right with you the whole time, it’s gonna be okay, but you’ve got to get back in the car.”

“No, no, no,” Josh whimpers. Mike helps Chris hoist Josh to his feet, and they all but drag him back towards the car. It’s all too familiar, the two of them leading Josh somewhere against his will. It’s not lost on either of them, as the two share a look over Josh’s slumped head. They’re able to get him back in the car, this time seated between Matt and Chris so he can’t jump out again. Jess, whose panic had been momentarily pushed aside during this spectacle, says she feels okay enough to go forward.

“Well that was fun,” Emily says once they’re driving again. Ashley lets out a little snort of laughter, and the two girls share a brief smile. It’s the first friendly interaction they’ve had in months.

~

The gate leading to the cable car station looms before them. Josh whines, squirming in his seat. Mike stops the car, but nobody makes any move to get out. Everyone turns to look at Josh.

“Guys…” he says hesitantly. “Look, even if this works, I’m, uh, I’m not gonna be all hunky-dory or whatever. I’m still, you know, sick. I should’ve told you all a long time ago about my problems, but you know now. So I don’t know if you’re expecting this to be some miracle cure, but--”

“We just want you to be okay, man,” Matt says. “We get it, really. You don’t have to explain it to us.”

Josh swallows, nodding. He turns to Chris. “Let’s do this, I guess.”

Everyone gets out of the car, and Josh hands Chris the key to the gate with shaky hands. They all walk up to the cable car station, no one saying much. It’s broad daylight, and the mountain is beautiful, most of the snow melted. Still, there’s an eerie feeling in the air. When they get to the station, Chris holds up a hand to stop everyone.

“Okay, hold on a second. The article I read, it said that the wendigo exits the body and searches for a new, weaker host. So I don’t think everyone should come across. Just in case.”

“I should stay,” Jess says, nodding. “I don’t think I’m, um, you know. Strong enough yet.”

“I’ll stay, too,” Ashley says, casting a wary glance at the cable car.

“I guess I can hang back with the girls,” Matt says.

“Well I’m going,” Sam says. Josh looks at her, and she gives him a small nod.

“Me too, obviously,” Chris says. “So is it just us three?”

“I can come,” Mike begins, but Emily pushes him back.

“Oh I don’t think so,” she says. “You need to stay here, hold down the fort. Take care of Jessica. I’m coming with you three,” she says, pointing to Josh, Chris, and Sam. It’s unexpected, but no one dares to argue with Emily, though Mike looks like he wants to.

“What if something happens to you guys over there?” Ashley asks, looking worried.

“Here,” Mike says, digging in the trunk of the car and pulling out a flare. “Josh’s dad’s always prepared. If anything goes wrong, set off this sucker. Then we’ll know.”

Emily takes the flare from him, nodding. Chris and Sam stand on either side of Josh, leading him towards the cable car. Emily walks in front of them, stepping into the car and watching as the other two gingerly sit Josh down.

On the ride up, Josh says, “Sam, there’s something I need to say. If something goes wrong--”

“Stop it,” she says. “It’s going to be fine, Josh.”

“No, listen to me. I need to tell you this. I’m… I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier. I don’t want to stop being around you. I’m so sorry.”

She nods, squeezing his hand. “It’s okay. I know.”

~

The car comes to a stop, and the doors open. They enter the station and then out the other side. They’re now officially on the path to where the lodge used to be. “This should be good enough,” Chris says. They all stand there, not sure what exactly is supposed to happen next.

Then, Josh feels something seize up inside him, and he jerks forward, stumbling away from the others. Chris and Sam both make as if to follow him, but Emily grabs them both by their shirts and pulls them back. Josh falls to his knees, gripping his head. The voice is loud, louder than it’s ever been. _Hungry, hungry, hungry,_ it practically screams in his ears, each time getting higher in pitch. He lets out a strangled cry, his head pounding like it might explode. The voice morphs into nothing but an inhuman shrieking, so loud that he can’t stand it, and then he collapses face-first into the ground, the sound mellowing into a white noise in his ears.

The three friends watch this happen with looks of horror on their faces. When Josh collapses, Emily feels something pass through her like a cold gust of wind, chilling her to the very core. For that brief moment she hears the shriek of the wendigo in her head, and she lets out a yelp of terror, but then it vanishes. She freezes in place, waiting to see if the sound returns, but she feels no different than before the energy had passed through her.

Chris, Sam, and Emily all watch each other warily, half expecting one of them to suddenly jump forward, snarling and hungry for human flesh. When that doesn’t happen, they turn their attention back to Josh, who is still face-first on the ground, very still. Sam covers her mouth to hide a sob.

Then, Josh coughs. He rolls over heavily onto his back, groaning. Sam and Chris instantly rush to his side, both of them helping him sit up and touching his face, his arms, his chest, saying his name over and over again. He blinks his eyes open, and when things come into focus, he sees Sam’s face, her brow furrowed in concern, her eyes so kind. He smiles tiredly.

“Hey, Sammy,” he says. She lets out a half-laugh, half-sob, and grabs his face in her hands, kissing him on the forehead. He gapes at her, then brings his hand to gently rest against the back of her head, pulling her in for a real kiss. He’s not quite sure what makes him do this, but Sam seems to think it was a good call, because she’s kissing him back with the same tenderness. Her lips are so soft, and he can’t believe he waited so long to do this. When they pull back, she gives him a teary smile.

Chris is watching this all happen, looking like he’s not quite sure what to do with himself. Josh turns to him with a smirk. “Aw, do you want one too, cochise?” he says, yanking Chris forward by the collar and planting a sloppy smooch on his cheek. Chris pulls back, wiping Josh’s slobber off his face.

“Ugh, dude!” he says, but his grin gives him away. He’s so goddamn happy that Josh is _alive_ , let alone joking around with him. _He’s okay,_ Chris thinks. _He’s really fucking okay. Holy shit._

The three of them stand up, and Emily approaches Josh, still looking shaken. “I felt it,” she tells him. “I felt it go through me, just for a second, and it… it was horrible.” She shudders. “I don’t know how you went through that for months, Josh. You’re… you’re really brave.” She grips him in a tight hug, one which he returns after a moment of startled confusion at Emily’s affection.

~

Back on the other side of the cable car, the remaining friends are getting antsy. “What if something happened to them?” Ashley says, near hysterics.

“They’d have used the flare,” Matt says, his arm around her.

“Unless something got all of them before they could!” she squeaks. Mike and Matt share a look. Jess lets out a little gasp, pointing.

“It’s coming back,” she says. The cable car is approaching, and they all watch with baited breath. When the doors open, Emily, Josh, Sam, and Chris come tumbling out.

“He’s okay!” Chris calls, and they all rush to meet in the middle. Ashley flings herself at Chris, nearly knocking him back and kissing him. Mike gives Josh a hug, telling him how glad he is that it worked. Matt is holding Emily’s hands in his as she tells him in a somber voice about how it’d felt to have the wendigo pass through her. Jess can immediately tell from Sam’s face that something happened between her and Josh, and she gives her a knowing look. Sam smiles and blushes, and Jess grins.

When they’re all back in the car, everything feels different. Emily and Ashley end up sitting next to each other, and neither girl seems upset by this for once. Sam and Josh are next to each other, hands interlocked. Mike hooks his phone up to the aux cord and puts on an acoustic song that fills the car as they pull away from the gates. _“Old friend, come back home, even though you always were alone. You had to push against the fates just to make it, make it through the gate…”_

Josh knows that things are still far from normal. He’s still got mental health problems that he will probably have to deal with for the rest of his life, and he knows all of them are going to be dealing with the PTSD from the events in February for a long time, too. But he’s got Sam, and Chris, and the rest of his friends. The hostility between any of them has dissipated. Maybe it’s just the music, or the feeling of Sam’s hand in his own, but Josh thinks that maybe they’ll all finally be able to put the horrors behind them.

 

_I know you_

_Don’t believe me_

_When I believe in you_

_But I know it’s getting easier_

_ Like it’s supposed to do. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand that's a wrap. Thank you thank you thank you for your sweet words and comments, and for reading my very self-indulgent fanfiction. I hope you like how it ended. The song used as the title and in this last chapter is called "Old Friend" by Sea Wolf, I highly recommend it!! 
> 
> Once again THANK YOU!!!! If you have any fic requests or prompts for me at any time, hmu on tumblr, my UD blog is joshuawashinton and I'm happy to consider your prompts. <3


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